GrINdM3isTeR

I was just reading all the testimonials that I had received and I got only a pathethic 32. Hahaha..no its not pathethic. I’m actually very grateful to all those who drop a word or two about what they feel bout me. I sincerely thank you from the bottom of my heart.

But then it got me thinking..am I really that person who they say I’m in all testimonials? I got good stuffs, good testimonials. But does it really reflect to who I really am? Who am I? Is it true that I’m a very helpful person? Am I a funny person? Am I a good listener? I know who am I. I actually do have all those qualities that my friends have described but I found out one thing. As time goes by (ever since I got back fr Aussie) I found out that I actually lost all of them. I was sucked into the world of employment and chasing the corporate ladder, participating in the rat race. Chasing dreams be it materialistic or just plain dreams was always the teaching that the society have taught us for all these years. It is not wrong but yet after a short while I realise that I have fallen into the trap of dead at 35 but get buried only when im 75. It is just sucky you know. I actually don’t mind chasing all those dreams that I have but I figured there is sure to be a way that I can achieve all my dreams easier and faster. Yea yea some people might say that I’m not realistic. But who says being realistic have to be HARD AND SLOW. We actually do not need to suffer to achieve all the dreams that we have when we were growing up. We can actually not conform to the employment world. We can actually be bigger than who we are right now. We can actually be successfull but not compromise ourselves for it. We are bigger than what others perceive us to be. We are..SO MANY THINGS!!

But to sum it up, hehe..thank you for all the testimonials that all my friends dropped me. As I went through them, I actually felt nice, I actually felt that I found out who am I again. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. Thank you. Remember people, we are so much bigger than who we portray who we are at this particular moment. Remember jymee..do not compromise yourself. Let yourself go free. Let your dreams come out again. It does not matter what other people think of you. You just have to be yourself and you are a fantastic person. You are the most patience person among all the girlfriends that my brothers have. You have so much potential that you have not known yet. You just have to discover it and follow it. And then you will fly.

I’m no master or self declare solve every problem man. All I’m doing is to express my point of view and hopefully during the process someone else will discover the real them. Coz I have..my name is GrindM3iStEr..have fun people.

Anyways, I have not been writing as much as I want to. It’s all down to my schedule. Though I come back every night (late in the night mind you) to log onto the net but it just did not cross my mind that I shoudl blog.

I have been in a state of delirium. Hmmm..not all the time.

I have been in a state of loneliness. Hmm…not all the time.

I have been in a state of anger. Hmmmm….not all the time.

I have been in a state of hyperness. Hmm…not all the time.

Oh have I mentioned that I was in a state of delirium? You know the story.

But the thing is I marvel at the things and the lesson that I go through everyday. I marvel at the support that I get. I have never intended for you to let me go but then I sometimes need to do what I set out to do. Susah nak cari makan these days I tell you.

Lets just put it this way..I will stay on no matter what. I will fight to till the end no matter what. I will not give up no matter how hard life seems till the day I achieve what I set out to do and with you along, it is easy.

Oh, CNY is around the corner. Let’s parttteeeeeee…bye..

Ho hum, indecisive, scared, angry, pissed off, frustrated, happy, loving, forgiving, caring, scared, missing. Oh, did I mentioned scared..?

There you go, if you would have read this then these are all what I’m feeling now.