Oops..
Time to reflect back now. A year back I felt like shit and I felt like dying. I was in Perth and I just broke off. I was getting drunk almost every other night and I was out almost every other night. Spent money like crazy almost every other night on transportation and spent money like crazy on phone. I had 3 lines over there for your information. I was alone all the time. I even wrote an entry on the 23rd of June and the 26th of June last year while I was sitting in my room feeling misearable. I didn’t know what I wanted to do then, I didn’t want to do anything then. Felt like giving up and I didn’t want to care about anything in the world. It was kinda like the shittiest moment of my life last year. That was 2005.
Fast forward a year. It’s now 2006. It was birthday 2 days back. I still feel like shit, I still feel lost (well somehow I feel that way), I still don’t want to do anything (lazy), I still do not care about a lot of things. I dont’t get drunk every other night though and I do not take money from parents already. Don’t spend money like crazy anymore and I don’t have 3 mobile line anymore. Only 1. So I would say its an achievement of some sort. I think. Haha!!
But it’s a good change for all I know. Somehow I was not expecting my life to be so mundane but I like mundane now. It’s good to rest and relax and do things for myself once in a while. Of course there are those occasional times when you feel like doing things for someone else. Provided that the other person appreciates it.
I’m not having the best time of my life though. No it’s not bad. I’m not in a depression mood or anything. I do not know what is the meaning of the best time of life but it is like the holy land for me. I hope to be able to get there and when I’m there I think I will be able to recognise, embrace and to acknowledge it.
Therefore I want to say 2006 has been a very stressful with lots of ups and downs year. I’m now looking forwards to next year because I do have plans for the second half of this year and also for next year. Pray..
Of course I want to thank the bunch of jim bangers who was there at Flam the other night. Yea so what if I spent money on you guys. It was worth it. Not much of you came but then it was more than enough for me. But I WANT PRESENT LA!! NO PRESENT OSO!! A MAN UTD JERSEY WOULD BE NICE!! Hahaha..desperate case. Thank you my brothers..and few sistas. Love you guys to death.
Grindmeister’s my name…
