GrINdM3isTeR

Time to reflect back now. A year back I felt like shit and I felt like dying. I was in Perth and I just broke off. I was getting drunk almost every other night and I was out almost every other night. Spent money like crazy almost every other night on transportation and spent money like crazy on phone. I had 3 lines over there for your information. I was alone all the time. I even wrote an entry on the 23rd of June and the 26th of June last year while I was sitting in my room feeling misearable. I didn’t know what I wanted to do then, I didn’t want to do anything then. Felt like giving up and I didn’t want to care about anything in the world. It was kinda like the shittiest moment of my life last year. That was 2005.

Fast forward a year. It’s now 2006. It was birthday 2 days back. I still feel like shit, I still feel lost (well somehow I feel that way), I still don’t want to do anything (lazy), I still do not care about a lot of things. I dont’t get drunk every other night though and I do not take money from parents already. Don’t spend money like crazy anymore and I don’t have 3 mobile line anymore. Only 1. So I would say its an achievement of some sort. I think. Haha!!

But it’s a good change for all I know. Somehow I was not expecting my life to be so mundane but I like mundane now. It’s good to rest and relax and do things for myself once in a while. Of course there are those occasional times when you feel like doing things for someone else. Provided that the other person appreciates it.

I’m not having the best time of my life though. No it’s not bad. I’m not in a depression mood or anything. I do not know what is the meaning of the best time of life but it is like the holy land for me. I hope to be able to get there and when I’m there I think I will be able to recognise, embrace and to acknowledge it.

Therefore I want to say 2006 has been a very stressful with lots of ups and downs year. I’m now looking forwards to next year because I do have plans for the second half of this year and also for next year. Pray..

Of course I want to thank the bunch of jim bangers who was there at Flam the other night. Yea so what if I spent money on you guys. It was worth it. Not much of you came but then it was more than enough for me. But I WANT PRESENT LA!! NO PRESENT OSO!! A MAN UTD JERSEY WOULD BE NICE!! Hahaha..desperate case. Thank you my brothers..and few sistas. Love you guys to death.

Grindmeister’s my name…

Livin La Vida Loca sounds like a great song. I wouldn’t know the meaning of the song though. It was made and sang entirely for the World Cup, but I wouldnt mind if the song tells me to live a life full of fun and live life the way it should be.

Ok, ok. Elaboration time. I have worked as an Advertising Sales Exec, a so-called 2 weeks as Marketing Dir for a magazine, Project Exec and now finally Business Development. Though these jobs have been nothing but mind-boggling, I’m now beginning to find it a bore. No doubt, these jobs have given me valuable insight on the business world, but I have detested the sales job ever since I worked in Metrojaya Sec 14 when I was 15 years old. Gosh damn, that experience made me realise that I do not like the sales job. But then I do realise that sales job is the only job that will bring me money. I have seen it. Tasted only the small sum but not the big sum yet.

Yeah, some people might have said that I can sell. But perhaps I can only talk but not sell. Perhaps my talk only plays with their mind instead of selling. Selling need a different set of skill. Talking does not require any. I wouldn’t want to do things that I don’t want to do. I wouldn’t want to be a soulless person. It is something that I’m beginning to feel now.

Ok enough ranting about money and work. Let’s rant about cafe. A simple cafe where food is affordable, a simple cafe where it will cater to afternoon crowd (students and working people) and delivery within the same area. Lets just say that this is my second passion. Rice and noodles would be the main staple food here. With meat on top. Fish with sauce, meat with sauce, sweet and sour sotong on mee. Curry mee with chicken ham or yau char kwai dip. You know those sort of things. Now if only an establishment would be available.

Talking about food gets me hungry. I do know that I get hungry whenever I’m in front of a screen, be it TV or computer screen. I read somewhere once before that if we do things regularly, our brain will automatically tell us to do what we always do whenever the particular activity is in action. It’s like the Pavlov’s Theory. I use to eat in front of the TV and computer and these days I have been practising it frequently again. I have stopped it for 2 years and it did me a whole world of good. I lost weight.

But I can’t help it. The World Cup is on these days. Let’s just also say that I can’t afford to do it like those days. When I was still a student, I could for sure stay up to watch the late match. These days, 12 am match is also a boon to me. Gosh I’m like a zombie. Gotto stop watching 3 am matches.

Brazil seem to be everyone’s favourite to win. I don’t fancy them though. Yea they are magical and skillfull and all, but I think they are a bit overrated. Argentina came out from nowhere to be everyone’s second favourtie team or to some even, the favourite team to win it. I have to admit though. They are simply awesome. The drubbing of S&M tells you just that. I have a secret though. I would be delighted to see either Japan or Korea in the semis. Hey, I’m an Asian. But lookig and judging from their performance it seems like we can only count on Korea. The Japanese team clearly lack the final touches to all their awesome build up during the play. Korea on the other hand, does not have the awesome build up like the Japanese but the possess within their ranks, the killer touch, the finisher. If Korea would go to the semis..I would be delighted.

Another secret, I would want England to go to the final. Mind you its final and not semis. England possess a strong squad that they have cover for all departments. Plus they have Rooney. Enuff said. Let’s just hope that they fulfill their prophecy this time. Also, I wouldn’t want Australia to go through. Call me racsit for all I care. Australia is just simply not good enough. I simply hate the fact that they only care for themselves. Yeah some Aussies are good but most of them are just plain ignorant and they do look like assholes when they are drunk. Hey sorry to my Aussies mate out there. But most of the young Australians I know gave me the impression.

Also, she maybe coming back this Sept. She MAY. Should I rejoice? Should I stop my life and wait? Nah, I wouldn’t want to stop my life. But more to I’m going on with my life and if things happens then things will happen. Right now, I’m seriously not thinking about it.

So right now, I’m searching for the light. It seems very dim and far away but I can see it. I can seriously see it. I’m finding for the vehicle that will bring me close to the light. I don’t know what is it that will bring me nearer to the light but I can sense that it is near. Oh, mind you I’m not talking bout her, I’m talking about my life, cafe and money.

My name is GrINdM3isTEr..

Like any normal human being, I would want a life that is comfortable but where I do not have to sweat over work to be able to achieve that. Hah..FAT CHANCE!!

No I’m not being a sulker or pessismistic or party-pooper, but hey, me for one would like to have a life that is laid back. Relax, easy, no worries kinda way of life. Yea..fat chance.

Though I would like to have above mentioned way of life, reality is that I would have to work for it. Let it be mentioned that I do not sales. But sales is the only way to achieve above mentioned life. Everything involves money these days though a lot of people would say that money is not everything. But money is alot of things.

Oh well, I was ‘told’ by someone the other day that I’m now in the process of searching myself. I do admit at moments I do think about that. Lets just say that I know what I want but maybe I just did not express myself clearly.

Okies, I have been ranting non-stop for a few minutes now. Im going to stop now.