GrINdM3isTeR

Sigh..its 5 more days till i leave Perth. Guess what..I’m now starting to feel sad that I’m bout to leave this place. I guess this place has grown on me ever since the first day I step down from the plane. Yea this place has brought me nothing but mere sadness n loneliness but it really has grown on me. I have adapted to the way of life here, the laid-back, slow, relaxing and enjoyable life here. Ok, lets add all that up with a few friends that I made this sem. My marketing communications group mates. I guess they are the first real friends that I made in my time here. The rest of the time I was busy not making friends. I didn’t want to. And now I do regret the fact that I did not make more friends that I shd have. Lets just say that I’m sad coz I’m leaving soon.

Another fact that par brought up to me just now on the way back from dinner. He asked me whether coming over to perth has actually fucked us up more than it benefited us. I answered yes. N my real answer is yes as well. It fucked me up in a way that I become the person I was few years back. Quiet, not talking person, anti-social, do not know how to have fun, negative. Over the past few years I have became a person who likes to have fun and make friends but I found out that I do not posses those kind of virtues anymore. Now par and I asked ourselves, was it PErth? Yea we answered. It brought me more pain and sadness than ever by being here. In a way as well, by leaving everything in Malaysia behind when I came here, I disconnected myself from everything back home and now I find the task of connecting back to the life back home, the people back home, the environment back home and everything, a bit daunting. It’s not that I’m not up to the task but its because…I dunno…prob I do not want to take the effort to connect back again..or I’m plain ol’ lazy!

I mean c’mon lets just face it, I shd be happy right by leaving Perth, but right now I’m not. I cannot understand that. Probably it will only be like this for a few days more till I leave. Hehe..prob when I reach home, everything will be different eh..:)

Oh yah, damn those admin staff in Curtin. My tutor has given my grades to them but yet they are not doing anything to change my grades online. How the fuck m I going to print out my official transcript when I do not have it online? How am I going to leave this place properly. I do not want to leave a problem hanging. I know some of you might say that it is nothing and some might say to follow up on it. I’m following up on it everyday. I guess I’m not getting anywhere coz I’m not hard on them enough? As for the other, yea I know it is nothing because this has been cleared up by my tutor and unit controller and even they ask me not to worry bout this, but right now I do. I want this to be good.

My last semester in uni has not ended..really..the results has just been released. Weeellll..to my surprise..i had done just right at the average point considering what i have went thru for the past half year. I have a Pass for Internet 214, a Credit for Internet 306, a Distinction for Sales Management and a DNC for Marketing Communication. DNC??!!..WTF??!!!!

DNC means tat i did not complete either an assignment or the exams. Or i did not attend the exams. WHICH I DID!!! So what could have went wrong? I’m guessing that its a mistake that the uni did. But what if its not a mistake? What m i gonna do? Oh shit man..this is killing me. I checked my results at 2am on the 13th of July and right now it is 4.03 am and i still cant figure out what’s wrong with my results. AARRGGHH..!!!

But hey, i did good u know..i know some of you out there might think that what i have achieved is nothing. I respect ur point of view but i had my own struggles for this past half year. I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO B PROUD OF MYSELF AT THE MOMENT! DON’T TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME!

And u know wat, finally..FINALLY..i got a Distinction for a unit in uni. Do u know how much i have wanted a Distinction to prove to myself that i can do something good. I know its not something to shout about but its for my own satisfaction and a fact that i promised someone that i will do above average in at least 2 units. 1 unit down, 1 more to go. The one more to go is Marketing Communications.

What i’m going to do when i wake up is to go back to uni and to clarify my results with the tutor/lecturer/unit controller/dean or watever. I need my FUCKING RESULTS!!

Sigh..ppl..im just worried what might happen with Marketing Communications results but yet im damn fucking happy and proud of what i have achieved and done. Please bear with me..HEHEHEH..!!!..sigh..

Tis is like bad shit for me. Yesterday was one of the worst nights ever in Perth for me. U see, i went out at 3 pm to accompany a friend to get sumtink sumwhere in a suburb, Cannington to be precise. You know, i was aight. Then we headed back home around at 5. When i reached home and decided to go online, suddenly…suddenly i felt this terrible joint aches and muscle aches all over my body. That’s when i said to myself ‘Ur fucked chun neng, ur fucked!!’. But me being me, i din give any shits bout it and didnt even rest or anything and i went on to make plans for the night. It was around 7pm when i felt so terrible. Freaking freaking terrible. It was a cold nite outside but it was even colder inside my house, it was at tat time i started feeling it, the feeling of uncontrollable shakings and underscribable feeling of heat coming up from my body. That is when i knew i had….

THE FEVER…

Ha, still didnt care much bout it. i decided to take the 8.30 bus to a friend’s place. it was 7.30 at tat time. Then around at 8.30, i was sitting in front of a heater in my house, full blast, i had 3 layers of clothings on but i was shaking, tembling because i was cold, too darn cold. it’s a combination of the cold in the house, cold fr the outside and plus i was having a freaking fever in which sense when having a fever, we sense n feel cold most of the time. So then i decided to ditch all plans and ate a slice of bread and took some medication and went to bed. I had so much trouble sleeping. My head was pounding, not because of headache but coz of the fever which was (to me) quite serious. My head was pounding in synchro with the beating of my heart. Every movement and every straining that i wanted to do, it made me wince. Damn. I havent had this one helluva fever for a long time. So i went to sleep and i woke up at around 4 am. After that i just could not sleep anymore. Here i was having a fever, cold, uncomfortable and feeling like shit. I went out to eat another slice of bread so that i could take another does of medication. After that i went back to bed n i was shaking in my bed coz it was cold, TOO DAMN COLD, FEVER n all, till like 8 in the morning b4 i could start to doze off to sleep. N guess wat, i woke up at 11. DAMN!!! Can i not sleep longer??!! But anyways..the whole day today was like heaven to me :). Why?! Coz i can finally sleep and not worry bout anything like going out. Haha..serious. Today is good..i like..Had naps here n there in the afternoon, cooked porridge for myself for dinner, had my mp3 on while i was chilling and resting, ate medicine (though head does pound once in a while), and here i m rite now after a whole day of wat i call a torturous yet enjoyable day :). I’m still having tat fever now but it had subsided a lot. Watering it down every now and then by using a towel to wipe myself with hot water.

Why the hell i wanted to tell this story out..i have no idea man. Haha..:) but its jus good to tell it out. I think i had the fever bcause i did not rest at all ever since the hols started. Yea i would sleep. But sumtimes i will sleep for less than 5 hours and sumtimes i sleep at 7 am n wake up at 11 am, if not i will sleep at 7 am n wake up at 4 or 5 pm n go out n do the same thing again. Its not tat i dunwan to do all the things i have done, but i guess i must have a bit more rest. So let me see, Sun=rest, Mon=ok get sum rest, Tues=mayb rest, Wed=damn go out la…Hahaha

Recently i have received messages fr certain friends who came to my aid in my huor of grieve. To all these friends..u guys know who u r..THANK YOU VERY MUCH..even to those who have been with me ever since the starting of everything..i appreciate what u guys have/had/has done or even offered to help. it’s great to know i have friends out there who can be depended upon when the need arises.

Ok, lets just put it this way, it is neva easy to forget bout sumtink which i hold do dearly in my heart for a long time..the thing is, i dun wan to forget or let go of it! But..but tat doesnt mean i wont/im not MOVE ON..dun worry catstail..i know wat im doing and saying

These few days in perth has been almost the same as anytime else..boring, cold, nothing to do n all those shits but i keep myself fairly entertained. Haha..doing wat u say??!! Watch movies in friends house, play wrestling game, drink at his place, go out watch movies..damn..for the past 2 weeks i have watched 4 movies..i dun even watch 4 movies in 2 mths back in malaysia.

it feels great to know at times tat i still have wat it takes to hold and get a gal’s attention and her interest after so long out of the game. Haha, rather i’m just being myself i think, the foolish, aloof, clumsy ol’ me!! Haha..its a surprise what i can do when i put m heart and mind into it.

Anyways..to all friends, dun worry bout me here..im learning a lot of things..as i said, wat i have decided does not mean im not moving on or i do not want to move on..i know wat im doing and saying. Cheers u guys..:)